Everybody’s got that cranky old uncle that they rarely get along with, but if anyone says one cross word about, you’d defend to the last.  In my WoW-blogging world, WoW Insider is that cranky old uncle.

Earlier this week we heard rumors that Joystiq, parent of both Massively and WoW Insider, was going to be shut down, along with its companion gaming sites.  A lot of people wrote about this, but in my heart, I hoped they were jumping the gun.

Today that hope was dashed.  Tuesday, February 31 will be the day that the music dies for Joystiq and its kin, and WoW Insider logs out for good.

Now, when I say I didn’t get along with WoW Insider, that’s a sort of overstatement. I did tend to ridicule them for their over-reliance of fifty-dollar words, for apparent word inflation to up word counts, for seeming to be so intent on sounding impressive that they forgot to BE impressive in their writing.  For meekness, for not getting in the middle of anything controversial2. For being as bland as store-bought biscuits and gravy-from-a-pouch.  For playing it so safe as to make one wonder if they were getting kickbacks from Blizz.

I subtweeted the SHIT outta that, and I regret nothing.

regret

NOTHING.

And for all that bluster, I read that blog Every. Titans. Damned. Day.  EVERY day. Because bland and overtaped though they might have been, they WERE a bunch of people trying to get it right. A room full of kindred spirits. And it was one place that you could go to reliably to find useful information about WoW.

I would have liked it if the fare were a little spicier. If they would have maybe tossed away a few of those thesauruses that they found outside the used book store. If they mixed it up a bit, stuck out that lower jaw and dared Blizz to knock that chip off their shoulder.  But they chose a middle road and I can’t really begrudge them. It was a choice.  It was a safe choice3. And one of us was getting paid to do it, and one of us wasn’t, so there’s some context into which my opinions can be placed.

Fact is, they provided something helpful – an omnibus, central clearing house of WoW stuff, and there is NO ONE in a position to take up that banner once it has fallen.4

Being critical is not the same as hating.  I was critical of this site because I cared, and saw so much more potential there than they were able to deliver. I wouldn’t be tweeting those snarky little subtweets if I hadn’t been reading the site. And I would not waste my time reading the site if I didn’t care about what they were doing.

Cranky old Uncle Edwin was a gigantic pain in the ass, but he was OUR gigantic pain in the ass and we all miss him to this day.  So it shall be with WoW Insider, in a slightly different way.  I’m going to miss them. A lot.

There is, at this point, a tremendous vacuum in the WoW blogosphere. Someone could step in and make something out of it if they could get funding. I hope it happens.  Maybe with members of this very crew.

I have one last thing to say, and it is the title of this Penny Arcade tribute.

"Godspeed"

So say we all.


  1. Incidentally, the anniversary of the destruction of Space Shuttle Columbia. []
  2. And, in fact, for backing out of teh dramaz when they killed off Guildwatch all those years ago. []
  3. Even if, ultimately, it didn’t matter. []
  4. MMO-C, you say?  WoWI was one of their major sources.  Gimme a break. They might not last the year after a blow like this. []

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WoW is in a similar position to a lot of high / gothic fantasy and terrestrial MMOs, in that adding new play areas is often a case of the game designers pulling new zones out of their metaphorical asses. WoW is in a lot better position than most in that there are plenty of other canonical worlds out there, though oddly they’d rather go the time traveling grandfather killer route than actually explore those other worlds1.

killerAnd they said his predecessor was grim.

While I usually look forward to exploring other worlds, the thing I actually am enjoying when I do that is the exploration of new zones, regardless of where they are, and the discovery of fun things.  But I’m very sensitive to the harmony of the zone with the established dogma of a fantasy world, and I often feel the “new world” approach is very disharmonious with the established dogma when it comes to my completionist makeup.

What is he going on about?

Let me put it all out there: I think that the three worlds we know now – Azeroth, Outland, and Draenor – are only partially explored, only partially revealed to us.

Draenor and Outland are, at this point, only conjecture on my part, but it’s common sense. Looking at the tiny island that makes up what we know of Draenor, there are only two possibilities.  The first is that Draenor as we know it is a speck of land half the size of Khaz Modan and an ocean the size of Azeroth.  The other possibility is that Draenor as we know it is just one land mass among many, that the world of Draenor is largely unexplored by ourselves.

This does of course open all sorts of possibilities, including lost tribes of Draenei, Orcses, Ogreses, and other denizens of Draenor that we have either encountered or been hinted to.

Draenor Map Honestly, they might be trolling us already.

By Extension

And since Draenor as we know it is the bedrock upon which Outland is built, that also means that for every lost continent of Draenor, there is a possibility of the same lost continent of Outland, only with more shatteryness. For lore purposes, it also opens a lot of possibilities since we have 35 years of Azerothian lore on that shattered land mass and its supposed compatriots.

Alleria‘s gotta be hiding somewhere, right?

Outland Map

Closer to Home

But what I’m getting at is this.

Azeroth only makes sense, from a climatic point of view, if you assume that it is only half explored.

Kalimdor and Khaz Modan make excellent sense climatically if you assume that they are northern hemisphere continents. Both continents are arctic to subarctic in the north, and tropical or arid in the south. Khaz Modan’s northern half is very European, while its south is very tropical. Kalimdor’s northern parts are very North American, and its south is very African – arid, dry, desert.

Azeroth Map

If Kalimdor and Khaz Modan were truly global, you’d expect Tanaris and Stranglethorn and Pandaria to be subarctic at the very least, rather than the tropical – dare I say, equatorial – climates they exhibit.

It only makes sense that the equator of Azeroth passes somewhere in the vicinity, or just south, of Pandaria, rather than in between the Arathi Highlands and Wetlands as depicted on some representations.

You Can’t Prove a Negative

Mea culpa – the possibility that those two continents are northern hemispheric does not in any way prove the existence of one or more southern hemispheric continents. It merely opens up the possibility. It provides an opening into which these land masses could be inserted.

For all we know, the southern hemisphere of Azeroth is an empty ocean, devoid of little more than the occasional island kingdom that would provide a content patch’s worth of exploration at most.  But there is one or more expansions’ worth of space in this alleged southern hemisphere, and not exploiting it seems to me, as a certain fictional astronomer’s fictional father said, “a waste of space”.

The Solid Case Against

There is, however, a solid case against the possible existence of these alleged continents. In fact, there is a solid case against Kalimdor and Khaz Modan being northern continents rather than globally spanning.  There are three such cases that I am aware of, in fact.

Azeroth from BT

Hard to see detail, admittedly.

The first is revealed either when raiding Black Temple, or doing the Warlock “Green Fire” quests. At one point you can look up, and see, in the sky above you, the planet Azeroth.  I have absolutely no explanation as to why this is – you can’t see Draenor from Azeroth, after all – and from any other point on Outland, you can’t see it. But from that particular point, you can. And the planet you see shows the two continents spanning the planet from north to south. This makes no sense whatsoever on many levels, but it is there as established game lore, and that’s that.  Azeroth, as seen from The Black Temple, has no missing southern continents.

It also doesn’t appear to have Pandaria or Northrend, either.  So the infallibility index of this sighting just took a dive.  If you’re gonna use this sighting as an example of why the North is alone, it needs to at least include all of current lore within it. And the weak tea excuse of “But it was made before Northrend was part of the map” also works for “But it was made before the southern continents were part of the map” as well, now doesn’t it?

Moving on, then.

Loken Globe

Dungeon delvers in Ulduar are familiar with the room just prior to Loken’s in Halls of Lightning. It bears within it a holographic representation of Azeroth. And, just like the BT sky-orb, this holo-orb shows no indications of there being more to Azeroth.  It also doesn’t show Pandaria, so once again we have no evidence that this ancient holo-orb is actually accurate, or if the Titans are trolling us.

Algalon Globe

Finally, we have the globe that Algalon uses as an instrument of destruction against Azeroth. Not only does it show no more than the other two representations, it also shows one of Azeroth’s moons as a crescent, which is just weird if it’s supposed to be an accurate representation. Clearly it is not, nor intended to be.

These are the facts

The facts are, there is no evidence that there is a southern hemisphere beyond the shores of Tanaris and Uldum. No sign of a missing southern continent. No support for a theory that there is more to Azeroth than we can see right now. But there is also no solid evidence against it, nor against a missing continent (or raft thereof) on Outland and Draenor.

All we have is this.

  1. in 2007, there was no reason to believe that Northrend or Pandaria were real, and they were not depicted in any available representation.
  2. The physical climate of this imaginary world of Azeroth makes absolutely no sense without an unexplored southern hemisphere.
  3. Draenor and Outland are too small to be entire planets. There must be more.

The Possibilities are Endless

We know that Blizz is near the end of its planned story arc for WoW. This arc, so widely known, has proven to be a burden that they’ve fought hard to shake off, coming up with the ridiculous plot of WoD as a way of bucking the system and shaking up our expectations.  But even if the next two expansions adhere slavishly to that timeline, there is so much potential left in that prophesied timeline of Azeroth.

But imagine an entire set of southern continents equal in size and scope with Khaz Modan and Kalimdor. What might we find there? Feral Elves that predate the Titans? A whole continent of Trolls? What of Draenor / Outland? Might we find an entire land where the Draenei reverted to Eredar ways? Did Turalyon and Alleria start a new Alliance-based2 trade empire just out of sight?  Where might there be dragons? A lost Ogre empire?

There are clues. That anonymous bit of land to the southwest on the Draenor map.  The ports on Draenor! Why build massive ports unless you are trading with people that you can’t reach by land?

The stories for these places are completely unwritten.  But, like Pern’s “Southern continent”, bursting with potential.

I hope we get to see them.


  1. And if you take that to mean that I think that the WoD premise is just plain lazy storytelling, you might be onto something. []
  2. Did the Alliance as we know it even exist then? This might be retro-futuristic Alliance, if not. []

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I was supposed to get this written up by Dec 21st, which is the anniversary of when we actually found little Jaina wandering around the parking lot.

Jaina 2011-12-28 Scruffy but all ours

But my attempts to capture a good pic of her in profile delayed this post.  The reason for this is because I wanted to share why we have taken to calling her "Bearcat" – basically, she’s shaped like this.

2000px-Flag_of_California.svg

My understanding is that this is the normal shape for Birman cats.  We’re still not 100% sure of her ancestry, since there is a little bit of something else in there as well, but aside from the overall coloring, she still maintains all the characteristics of that breed, including fur as soft as a kitten’s. The temperament is somewhat different than Cat Fancier standard, but I’ve long considered such things to be outside the realm of genetics, anyway.

Nevertheless, she still has her cuddly side, but it rarely comes out. When it does, she typically jumps up onto my keyboard tray and head butts my hand until I give her chin scritches.  She doesn’t do purr and she doesn’t do cuddle, but she does have her affectionate side. I’ll take it.

The Cat that Lived, who still defies the physicians at Banfield, has also picked up her own kitten, which requires a bit of explanation.

This has been a tough year in Casa de Grimmtooth for the felines citizens. We first lost Psycho Cat earlier this year as she wound down her hard knock existence with us. Mrs Grimm said she probably didn’t even know she was a cat, and her disdain for all other felines certainly seemed to bear that out.

Josie and Holly 2008-03-08

Josie explaining to Mrs G that the PC was ebil and she should pay attention to Josie instead

The other loss was Leon, dubbed Old Man Cat for his somewhat unique voice.  Big, rumbly, and loving, he started to lose interest in eating, and it was downhill from there. He was Jaina’s pal at times, though she didn’t really appreciate the cuddling part. 

Jaina and Leon 2012-05-13

Fortunately, Mrs G was happy to stand in.

Leon 2014-04-02That brings us to our new residents.  While taking Leon to the Shelter to have him euthanized, we thought about maybe coming back to pick up a kitten for the rotation. A sweet little black kitten poked Mrs G as she walked by her cage, and presented chin for scritches and purrs for our enjoyment.  We pretty much concluded that since she did such a great sales job, we’d take her home.  As we considered her, her neighbor, a beautiful gray kitten reached out and said, "Me too!"  Unable to split up a great team1, we decided to take them both home.  We named them Washburn and Zoey … for reasons2

Wash and Zoey 2014-09-16

Zoey, at least, lives up to the Warrior Woman thingy.

Zoe 2014-10-18 (Soon)

Zoey is also now officially Jaina’s kitten.  The two of them spend time snuggling, fixing each other’s ears, hugging, tussling, and otherwise being the cutest things for yards around.  Sometimes Wash joins in the fracas, but in general the gals keep him in line.  Captain Harble tries to steal my seat or otherwise lurks in the top of the cat tree.

Having the new kittens has given her opportunities to socialize, which she didn’t have previously. All the other cats were a lot more mature than she, and had no desire to play. Now, we hear the thunder of a herd of kitty hooves pretty much every morning. It’s a joyful sound.

So we’re now in Jaina’s third year. According to sources, this is how long Birman cats take to mature, so she’s as big as she’s going to get, and as such is a tiny little thing. I don’t know if that’s normal for that clan, but it kinda rules out Rag Doll since they get kinda big.

Jaina, like her namesake, is a tough gal, accepts no shit from anyone, and has carved out a niche for herself and settled in well. We now enter a new phase of her life as she assumes the role of Auntie Jaina.

Jaina 2013-02-25

Don’t wake Auntie Jaina unless the Nip is ready.


  1. They weren’t, actually. []
  2. If you don’t get where that came from, I don’t know you. []

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The auto-counter for Herbs has been simplified and rejigged for Draenor herbs, and it reveals most interesting things about how Blizz in turn has rejigged herb yields.

But First, a Review

If you recall, up until now, there have been two kinds of pigment yielded from milling; uncommon and rare. The uncommon ones were the ones we used to make glyphs, and the rare ones were used to make things like Darkmoon cards and so forth. As such, the herb you wanted to buy on the AH depended as much on what you wanted it for as how much it cost.  An herb that had a high yield in rare pigments might have an inferior yield in uncommon pigments, and vice-versa.

MoP Yields

MoP, but typical of all that came before.

The better you tuned your purchases, the bigger your profits.

That was Then, this is Now

The biggest change in WoD is that the rare pigment yields have been completely removed. You only get one kind of pigment out of milling now, and all other things come from that.  Whether you make glyphs, make tokens to make cards, or whatever, it comes from Cerulean Pigment.

So, right away, your purchasing decisions are vastly simplified.

But then there’s this.

WoD Yields

WoD, fairly high confidence.

If you look at the difference between the best performer in MoP and the worst, and compare their analogs in WoD, you immediately see that Blizz has really leveled the playing field when it comes to pigment yields. We’re looking at typically a less than .05 per-mill variation between the best performer and the worst.  While there is some trading places one day to the next, for the most part they sort out in this order and yet that order is practically meaningless.

In Which a Conclusion is Drawn

From this I think it’s safe to say that the market can be the greatest factor in your purchasing decisions for purposes of glyph making or other Inscription-based manufacturing operations.

For example, Frostweed  appears to be by far the most popular herb out there due to its many applications. And, typically, it is also priced above the others, so I rarely purchase it for milling purposes1.

It’s quite clear that Blizz have attempted to remove milling yield as a factor in which herbs get milled. They still have a bit work to do in other professions2 to even out the market, but it’s a good start – and the market might even flatten once certain commodity potions and the like are no longer being pumped out like Diet Coke3.

The upshot is at this point, if you’re a Scribe, your job is likely very much simplified at this point.  And that’s a good thing.


  1. I made an exception for purposes of preparing these stats, but now that I’m done with that I’m going back to letting the market be my guide. []
  2. Sidebar: The almost random nature of professions requiring a little bit of this from that profession and a little bit of that from this profession is just stupid. Yes, I realize that with garrisons, you can have your own source of, say, ore. But that’s a stupid reason to implement professions that way, and vice-versa. It is as if they put those seemingly random requirements in in order to give you something to do with resources that you would normally have no use for, and that’s just pathetic. []
  3. I have portals. I see things. []

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As raiding begins to crank up, I find myself for the first time without any raiding options open to me. My main guild’s GM has been more or less AWOL since a year ago, and shows no sign of starting to play again, and a potential "we’re getting the band back together" opportunity appears to have fallen through. So for the first time since BC1, I find myself with no plans to raid, no pressure to hit level cap, no pressure to do anything other than play whatever toon I want for as long as I want. Which is exactly what I’m doing.

highmaul preview There are many, I am sure, that will point out that LFR fills the gap, and lots of my guildies are going that route and are, at least on the surface, quite happy about it.  Personally, I don’t consider "raiding" to be all about the content, and no number of Epics will alleviate the fact that I’m raiding with a bunch of strangers that I’ll probably never see again2. All of my fondest memories of raiding have more to do with the people I raided with than the raid experience itself.  Sure, downing a boss was fun.  But the whoops heard in Vent from nine3 of your closest comrades after hours of study, practice, effort, and wipes is What It Is All About, and anyone that disagrees is just itchin’ for a fight.

This is somewhat liberating, as I possibly change focus and attitude with regard to WoW.  Ever since the breathtakingly awful reveal of WoD and its subsequent consistent misteps, I’ve become somewhat sour on Blizzard games.  WoD is a fine expansion, there is no denying it, but my feelings of loyalty to the brand are greatly diminished.  They will need to do a lot more of what they’ve been doing4 before they win my trust back.

cobraAnd meanwhile, there’s Elite: Dangerous, and it’s shaping up to be something I’ll want to do.  The time I expect it to stabilize after commercial release just so happens to coincide with the time that I’ll probably start to get bored with the tedious Garrison grind and other not-actually-a-daily-in-name dailies. The fact that a game that I’ve wanted for quite some time is coming up to speed in the next two to three months may have provided the final temptation to spring me out of this game.

Or, it may be another Wildstar, and my interest will die a silent death in the dark of night again.  You just never know.


  1. I wasn’t a raider in vanilla. []
  2. And in some cases, that’s a good thing. []
  3. Yeah, we can’t really get 25 going. So we’re scrubs. So what. []
  4. And I must say, they’ve been doing a lot right in the last three months. []

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One of the oldest chestnuts in WoW gameplay discussions is between the various content “factions” – for example, raiders, casuals, PvPers, RPers, and so forth. There are at least four points of tension listed here, and there are probably more than that in reality.

Raiding has always been criticized as taking entirely too much development resources for the number of players that partake of it.  Even with LFR now a thing, I suspect we’re looking at a maximum of 20% participation at all levels.  Take away LFR and we’re probably closer to 10, or maybe, 5 percent of the entire game’s population.

And that of course is the crux of the critics’ argument – massive resources are being directed at something that only one out of five players actually experiences. While we don’t have head counts here, the critic will point to Blizz’s recent refrain of “that would cost a raid tier” as the reason they didn’t get around to doing the things other “factions” wanted to do.

Blood elf models? Raid tier.

Armor dyes? Raid tier1.

New player class? Raid tier.

New player race? Raid tier.

Revamped professions? Raid tier.

Dance studio? Two raid tiers. Or maybe an expansion. Dancing’s hard, y’all.

At any rate, the thing we come away with is that raiding’s a Big F!cking Deal to the game designers and around 20% of the player base.

But I’m okay with that.

Watch this video.  I’ll meet you on the other side.

Okay, ask the average Eve player and they’ll tell you that the images you saw in that video are atypical of the average game experience. Most of the time is spent micromanaging a plethora of skills, bots, build jobs, and other administrivia2.  But the fact remains, these epic battles between huge fleets exist. They exist so hard that when they happen, the Web usually takes notice. It is not unusual for one of these massive battles – which I emphasize, often include ships worth tens of thousands of real-world dollars – to make the cut on cnn.com or other mainstream news site, even if it’s just to mock us geeks and our pathetic ways.

Here’s the thing. Raid-level encounters in Eve are not scripted or in any way influenced by CCP, the parent company of Eve. These encounters are completely organic, entirely generated by the goals and needs of the players, in the truest sandboxxiness sense.

And yet the parallels between these battles and WoW raiding, especially outside of LFR, are pretty stark3. And it illustrates why raiding in WoW is a thing that needs to keep happening, even if only one out of a hundred of us does it.

Because epic tales are important. They are part of our DNA as fantasy/scifi RPG players. Even if we can’t be part of the epic battles, even if we don’t make the cut for the realm’s greatest raiding guild, we can hear the stories and dream. This is the essential nature of gaming, in a way.

A new player class or race, updated professions, or even the Dance Studio are nowhere near as, well, “sexy” as an epic raid, even when experienced viscerally via youtube video or forum post or even word of mouth on the guild forums. Tales of great deeds are inspirational. Tales of blown opportunities in the skill-up grind for Engineering … not so much.

I imagine the average Eve player resents the hell out of the big Corps out there and their iron grip on Big Fleet Battles. But I suspect every dedicated Eve player that is NOT in one of those big Corps would probably jump at the chance to play even the smallest part in one of those gigantic space battles.  To paraphrase Dave Scott, the commander of Apollo 15, I believe there’s something to be said for grandeur. At the end of the day, regardless of our place in the grand scheme of things, we all need something aspirational to drive us, to inspire us, to provide us with something a little bit out of reach that we might be able to grasp, if we play our cards right.

In game theory terms, it is a huge carrot for us to chase. Eve’s players drive both ends of that equation. If raiding was removed in WoW completely, I suspect something similar would happen here.

The question is, is it worth it for Blizz to sink resources into something like this?  I suspect it depends on what the end result is, and I don’t mean boss drops.  Just what is it that Blizz gets from raiding?

My main gripe with raiding has always been, it removes something from the average player’s personal experience. It’s not gear, but the story of the raid design itself. More than anything else, each raid provides a distinct tic mark in the lore of Azeroth. MC provided us with a limited understanding of Ragneros; Kara gave us much lore about Medivh; ICC was the capstone on Arthas’ arc; Deathwing was destroyed in one of those raids. Something something Pandaria.  Garrosh has a plan. You get the picture. The raid endpoints of a content patch and/or expansion have been rather lore-heavy. Thanks to LFR, these have become potentially accessible to every player in the game willing to achieve a specific gearscore.

That’s not the point.

The point is, the primary lore delivery mechanism for WoW is, has been, and will continue to be, the raid. So as long as that remains the case, raids are extremely important to the health of the game, regardless of whether you participate directly or not. From a lore perspective, this matters. From a, er, spiritual perspective, it also matters.

Basically, the moment that someone decides that raids are no longer relevant to WoW is when WoW begins to die.

Unless an equally valid source of lore and epic content is identified.

But that’s another show.


  1. Or possibly being saved for the F2P game. Not that that will ever happen if you talk to anyone director level or above. []
  2. The terms “Spreadsheets in spaaaace” and “Spreadsheet Simulator” are often bandied about with varying levels of humor and pain and pathos. []
  3. As my term “Raid-level encounters” probably illustrated. []

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This post on the Blizz forums has had a lot of glyphmongers very confused.

Due to an error, there were a few glyphs that were unable to be crafted via Inscription, which made them unobtainable. These glyphs are:

To make sure players have access to them, we’ve added them to the Inscription vendors in Stormshield and Warspear. Alliance players can purchase them from Joao Calhandro, and Horde players can purchase them from Maru’sa.

Update 1:10 PM PST: We’re also working on adding Glyph of Cleanse (Paladin) and Glyph of Frostbrand Weapon (Shaman). Glyph of Cleanse will be added to the Inscription vendors like the other glyphs. Glyph of Frostbrand Weapon’s item is missing from the game files, so we can’t add it to the vendors via hotfix. Instead, it will be automatically taught to all Shaman level 75 or higher.

Update 1:47 PM PST: Glyph of Cleanse should now be available on the vendors, and Glyph of Frostbrand Weapon should now be automatically learned by all Shaman (although you may need to relog to pick it up).

Source

Later on in the thread a clarification pops up, but I’ll save you the trouble.

Note that it’s clearly stated that the glyph is what is for sale, not the glyph recipeDon’t bother going to the vendor if you want the recipe. There is none.

No new glyph recipes are being added at this time.e

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There is a moment in the Shadowmoon Valley experience that is one of the most supremely heroic and noble and tragic and triumphant of the game so far. Nothing in all the expansions or the original game can match this for emotional punch or impact. It is truly one of the Big Moments of video gaming. This is a genuine “Aeris moment”. The people at Blizz that are responsible for this should take each other out for copious rounds of hard cider and pizza; they’ve achieved a high point in this franchise. I state this without hesitation.

Those of you that have seen the cinematic sneak peeks, or completed this zone, know of that which I speak.

And yet that there is more to the story of Shadowmoon Valley. You still have work to do, and you’re inspired to do so.  And that, friends, is the point of a good cinematic.  It drags you in and involves you in the story.


There is a scene before this in which you are involved in the final battle to save Karabor. You are participating in a future-vision with alt!Velen, and in the dream you fight beside him and Yrel. Just as things look grimmest, alt!Velen cries out and gives rise to the Holy Light, and the enemy begins to fall back!  And then there is evil laughter, and Ner’zhul, and then … well, I won’t spoil it, but if you were there, you probably whispered … “oh, gods, no.”  It was that bad.

As I and alt!Velen awoke from this nightmarish dream, I felt a resolve … “Hell, no!”  Just that.  The thing that we saw. We’ve seen it before. And regardless of the outcome of the previous event that we have seen before, the cost is just so damned high. Never again.

Never again.


After That Cinematic Moment, the game kicks into high gear.  The moment of supreme sacrifice cannot be dwelled upon. The Iron Horde is storming Karabor!  You know now that the nightmare of alt!Velen’s vision will not come to pass. But will it be enough?

I hope you have the music playing, because they milk it for all it’s worth as you, Yrel, and Maraad take to the skies as air support for your garrison’s denizens as you all, together, storm the city. Your job is to plow the road so the garrison troops can break through to the docks.

Once accomplished, you link up with Yrel after taking out a mini-boss1 and end up once again in the final defense of Karabor.  Will the Aeris moment pay off?

Of course it does, but the final moments of the battle are involving and emotional.  If you can imagine a Dwarf riding a giant rooster, his rampaging polar bear at his side, yelling FOR [REDACTED]!!!! at the top of his wee Dwarven lungs, charging into battle as if he’d forgotten that he never quite mastered the art of shooting and moving at the same time, well, you’ve got a good handle on where I was living for five minutes of my life.

At the end, you’re given a ride back to Embaari, where the music swells, speeches are made, and the natives cheer you and your doughty troops for, well, as long as you stick around, it looks like. The moments of tragedy, tension, and triumph all culminate in this final moment, in which you not only get to bask in the glow of your own sense of achievement, but share it with the people that you were fighting for.  Again, it was quite an emotional moment.


Here now, in the wee hours of the morning, I hurry to push that emotion out onto virtual page before it’s gone. It’s not enough to feel it; I want to share what it’s like, even though I know that this sense is completely derived from pixels and logical constructs living inside a silicon wafer.  And I just don’t care.

A year ago, I was mocking Blizzard for many reasons, and justifiably so.  They appeared to be inept, tone-deaf, and downright hostile to the culture they said they were a part of.  Boy, a year does make one hell of a difference. Blizzcon 2014 saw a complete about-face, right down to the host of the cosplay event. The Overwatch reveal was a huge success2, the outreach felt genuine, and the tone of the game launch, while marred by a DDoS and subsequent messy mop-up3 was aimed squarely at us, the gamers.

I’ll proudly be among the first to step up to the buffet and eat a large plate of crow.  If Shadowmoon is any indication at all, this game has received a much needed injection of “Panda? What’s a fucking panda?”

Story matters. It has to be a good story. It has to be a relevant story. I’m sure some poor fellow worked long and hard on the Pandaria lore, but bottom line is, nobody cared.

Draenor, for all the contrivance involved in its invocation, is nevertheless relevant, in spades.  And the story of Draenor thus far is, by the Light, GOOD. I know the high spots of what’s coming, but this zone.  Guys, this goddamned zone. Tears of anguish. Tears of betrayal.  Tears of hopelessness. Tears of loss. Tears of joy. Tears of triumph.

A very moist zone, this Shadowmoon Valley.

I don’t know if I’m emotionally up to coping with what is yet to come.  And I damned well don’t know if I’m up to bringing three more alts through this zone over the next month or two.  But for some reason, I have the feeling that the giddy feeling that I get coming out of it will make it worth the while.

Game on, nerds.


  1. Honestly, I have no idea how Jas or Illume are going to survive that dude without a tanky pet. []
  2. I’m not into that kind of game, but by the Light it was one hella reveal, even a jaded old husk like me can admit that. []
  3. Which, despite the bleats of the nonbelievers, was done in cracking good time. []

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I missed all the launch day angst this year because I had my own personal launch day angst.  My boot drive died, and I was without PC. 1  So I set forth to reinstall Windows for the third time in as many months2

I handled this a lot better than some did about the inevitable launch week collywobbles3 in that I shrugged my shoulders, and used the down time to catch up on back recordings of @Midnight4.

Last night was Right Out due to OS upgrades, but also the servers still appeared to be having problems. This morning they were free and clear, at least the ones I’m involved with.  Kudos to Blizz for repairing the damage resulting from the DDoS attack  as quickly as they have. That shizzle ain’t easy, yo, and if you ever start to think it’s easy, come talk to me. I’ll dissuade you of that sad delusion.

As opposed to the abortive effort that was Blizzcon 2013, Blizzcon 2014 was an amazing success. That coupled with the +700K sub numbers indicates that the old warlord is far from dead. I can see Metzen up on stage saying BRANG EET, BASTIGES, and imma for once stand with him on this. Blizz seems to have turned something around, and while it’s only supposition, one can’t help but look at a moderately recent departure for clues on the change in tone.

And this launch was, from my perspective, amazing once I got into the game.  Here are my initial impressions.

  • NOW’S OUR CHANCE! STORM THE PORTAL! Well, I gotta say beardless!Khadgar was a bit of a disappointment, but after working with him, I totally didn’t care. Whiskers or not5 he’s a total badass and I am happy to fight at his side.  I would have preferred that the premier mage on Azeroth, Jaina Proudmoore, lead this charge, but at least they wrote this guy well.
  • For the first time in what seems over a year, I swapped out my Spirit Beast, Cheezburger for my default tanky pet, Bumbles.  SRS BSNS, FOSHIZZLE
  • I actually got THANKED by a representative of the Shadow Council on behalf of the Shadow Council.  Flora might have been cool with that, but I just felt a little skeevy.
  • Yrel’s evolution is apparently going to be a lot faster than I expected6. When I first meet her, she “has never killed before.”  Amazing for a race that is undergoing systematic extermination.  Protip, Yrie – get on that shit as soon as possible to avoid extinction.  kay?
  • Start of garrison – hello, Baros!  That’s an unexpected and familiar face from the past!  I love how they’ve managed to merge old-school Azeroth into this expansion.
  • Being called “Commander” really makes me feel a sense of obligation … maybe grimmtooth!Actual’s military experience comes into play here, but the feeling that the whole garrison’s population is looking up to you makes it a LOT more personal than I expected.
  • And speaking of personal, the barracks appears to be inhabited by slobs, and/or college freshmen7.

 

All in all, this has been an excellent start to an expansion that I was – at best – dubious about when it was announced. While it’s not as advertised as the brodawg Orc shit, the Draenai lore is really shaping up nicely. The mechanics of things is working out well. The questing process has been, so far, well done, if unchanged from the MoP questing model.

And the player involvement in Things of Import is really well done. I feel like a player in this. I feel like I am being looked up to, a true “commander” of the Alliance force in old!Draenor. The quest and zone designers have done an amazing job of putting this all together, and I am going to be first in line8 to call them out on (1) a job well done recovering from an unexpected launch event, and (2) a job well done on the design of the expansion.

Ops team, Quest Design team – take a well-deserved break at your earliest convenience.  You’ve earned it.


  1. Word to the wise: just don’t buy OCZ SSD drives.  This is the third hard failure in as many years.  Lonomonkey has already chastised me for this poor purchasing choice on Twitter, so consider your chastisement obligations fullfilled in proxy. I mean it. []
  2. Time the first: moved to Win7-64 to play WildStar. Time the second: upgraded motherboard two weeks ago. Time the third. F!CK F!CK F!CK []
  3. SERIOUSLY – were you asleep the last five expansions or something, people?  You’re amazing. In some non-complimentary form of the word. []
  4. That’s the same guy that did the Blizzcon costume contest, by the way. He’s One Of Us. []
  5. Whiskers have a strong union, expect class action in the near future. []
  6. I’ve seen the end-of-Shadowmoon cinematic, so I know where she stands. []
  7. Same thing []
  8. Or at least as First as I an manage []

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There’s been quite a bit of – well, “whinging” might not be totally inaccurate, but it might be viewed as some as offensive1, so we’ll call it “whinge-like sounding critique” – about the pre-expansion event associated with Wierdos of Draenor2, and that puzzles me. It’s as if they remember other pre-expansion events that I do not. Neither Pre-WotLK nor Pre-Cata were all that big a deal, and were done after a handful of quests, unless you were the kind of jerk that liked to get the zombie curse and grief your own faction3.  I’d even say that the Cata event was much shorter.  And maybe I missed the Panda event, but I really don’t remember one. So whatsamatta for u? 

I just don’t get the haters. Well, I do. Haters gotta hate.  If they got nothing to hate, they make something to hate.  So yeah I get it, but I hatin. 

OH DAMN. NOW I BE A HATR!

(deep breath)

I do have one issue with the event, and it’s with the way that quest events are indicated in the game.  They’ve moved from a “sparkle” highlight or a “gear” highlight to a “faint outline” highlight that I absolutely hate.  Maybe I’ll get used to it, but right now I can see a LOT of trips to WoWHead in my future as I grapple with hidden items in Draenor.

If I had been ambivalent about the Iron Horde before, this would have changed it.

Keri

YOU KILLED KERI!  YOU BASTARDS!

Us Dwarves have a fairly low threshold of outrage when it come to killing off our booze vendors.

Clearly, somebody’s going to have to pay for this.

/cocks rifle

And I’m comin’ for payment, you bastiges4.


  1. Not intended to be offensive, but A==B, B==C therefore A==C kinda thing. Sorry. Your baggage is your own, please claim it at the point of debarkation. []
  2. Or whatever it’s called. []
  3. In which case, go spin on a stick. []
  4. Bastiges. It’s a Wildhammer thing. []

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